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Monday, November 22, 2010

A few things

I know its a little early to update, but hell I am doing it anyway.

I have SO much anxiety right now. I have a class today until about 6, we are on deadline for our schools newspaper and we have to get it all done between today and tomorrow. I would just much rather lay around the house naked all day until the hockey game tonight. God I want to do that. But, I have responsibilities....I just don't like going to that class. It's like, I can do all of it from home so why do I have to go in and waste my day? Ugh. But, my BFF is in that class, and we always have fun when we are together. We aren't going to be able to talk much though because we will both be busy doing our pages...

My stomach is acting up today too. I do not feel very well, feel like I am going to throw up at any minute. So that does not help the fact that I will be at class a lot today. I need to feel better.

I have been reading a lot of other BPD blogs lately. I really wish there was some sort of support group here for BPD's. Its not fair. They have bipolar groups, depression groups, but no BPD groups. I need to meet more people with this disorder!

Today Part 2

Wow, I actually had a great day today!! I haven't had one of these in awhile, and I am really happy about it. Even though I woke up not feeling well, I smoked a bowl before going to class, listened to Lady Gaga in the car, and felt better right when I got on campus! Class was cool too. I love Journalism class. Every time I feel like I don't want to go or something I feel so good when I get there. I edited a few stories, most of which were pretty rough. I hate to pass judgment on new writers, as I have been there but they do not know AP style, and haven't had an English class yet! But, me and my BFF were there and it made things better. He truly is a great person. I have not known him for long, but we really connect. After class, I came home and glanced at some BPD websites. I found a really good chat and forum, Psych Central. I got my five posts and I get to go in the chat room now. I talked with a girl who has BPD and posted some on the forum. That took up most of my afternoon and then my fiane got off of work, we played some video games and went to a hockey game! The lightning won 3-1 and we really got along. I am looking forward to tomorrow because I am either going to yoga tomorrow night or a zen buddhist meditation!

Saw this on a friends blog...

Think Good Thoughts Today! And do not forge that each thought you have, each second that elapses, each breath you take, COUNTS!!! So take advantage, after all, we may only have today.
:)

2 comments:

Lisa said...

GOD I TOTALLY AGREE. BPD support groups... would be so helpful.

I'm sorry that you're feeling stressed, stay with it. This is do-able. This being life...it's hard and there are brick walls all around us...

but stay strong, hold on

<3
-Lisa

UndercoverBorderline said...

A support group would be lovely. maybe we can figure out a time and do a weekly chat to all just vent and talk with each other?

I'm sorry for stress, it can be horribly overwhelming >.<

Yay for good days! There needs to be many more of those. Keep up the blogging chica, I'm waiting for another post from you! =]