The AHHHH

Well..I kicked in His computer while he was on the phone with some cunt doing some stupid presentation. He was being wayy too nice to her and I just had enough of his little shit and I let loose, and kicked the computer he was working on. It didnt do anything, but after he hung up the phone with her, he said it was "over" but of course it wasnt. I was just so god damned upset, he was talking so nice to this cunt, nicer than usual, and it REALLY REALLY set me off.

I really need to stop interfering with his work though. Its not fair to him. No matter how upset I get, I cannot kick his computers in, and possibly make him lose his job. I cannot do that. It has to stop. I just have to not be in his office whiel eh is on the phone, or bug him while he is on a support call..sounds easier than it really is..

I didnt go to DBT today. This was the first appointment I missed, I really should not have missed it..I told my boyfriend I was sick (Which is partly true, I started my period and im feeling yucky) but the main truth is I just didnt want to get out of the house. I am really depressed and PMSing and didnt want to face the world today.

I really want to hear back from books a million. They basically said I could have the job if the background check passes. I got arrested in May 07, but I was NEVER convicted, the charges were dropped. So, hopefully I pass the backgroudn check and I get the job. I NEED to get out of this house, and I NEED something on my own, to myself. I really believe I can work and show up and not call out like I used to. I really really want to get this job. I emailed the lady today, so hopefully I get it... I really will be upset if I dont.

I dont really know what I am doing today. Porbably just puttsing aroudn teh house, readinhg my book, and being extremely anxious. Doesnt that sound like soo much fun?!