The great Day

I wish I was normal. I really do. Yesterday, my boyfriend could have gone to an onsite appointment (he works from home normally) and I could have had time to myself, and danced around the house, while he made good money. But, since I am a paranoid freak I told him to convince the client for another employee to come on Monday.

I need medicine, I really do. I haven’t officially been diagnosed with BPD, but every description fits me so well.

I don’t have to go back to school until January 8th, which is nice, but I also have nothing to focus on. I need something so I can keep my mind off of things, and keep myself busy. Here is a To-Do List I hope to get accomplished for the day.


1. Call my lawyers office.
2. Find a foot pedal for sewing machine
3. Sell my Books back to the school
4. Clean up my craft room and unpack Christmas gifts
5. Clean Bed room and give away old clothes.


I think that is a big enough To-Do list for me. I don’t like creating too much of a To-Do List, because it usually never gets done and I get overwhelmed.


So, I am just going to lounge around the house today and get this stuff done. This weekend, Him and I are going to just watch the NFL Playoffs, and have a relaxing weekend. Since we have an awesome game room, probably play pool or darts or something like that. Since my school and rent were just paid, we are going to cool it on the spending for awhile!

I just found this project that people are doing. 101 things to do in 1001 days! I think this is a very good way of getting things done, its fun, and unique! Here is my list


1. Blog Daily. 30X
2. Read all of Jodi Picoults Books 13X
3. Call every single debt I owe, and come up with a payment plan.
4. Buy the foot pedal for my sewing machine
5. Go a day without yelling at anything 30X


I still have to come up with more! I have been reading this guys blog about his struggle with BPD and it is like a mirror of myself.. So I definately think that is what I have..

When I refer to my boyfriend, I will refer to him as Him..so I disguise the names.

Him and I had an amazing night last night. First, we went around the neighborhood to put up posters for our lost ferret. This guy was outside and i asked Him to go up to the guy and see if he has seen our baby Allie. When He got back, He told me the guy said that he said her and had to make some phone calls. The borderline in my kicked in totally, and I told Him to ask the guy what he meant. The guy was like..well, we took her in because she came up to my door, and we gave her to a friend. Well, IDK why he had to lie to us at first about it. I screamed at the guy and said we better get her back.

Seriously, we have been missing her for almost a week, and I almost lost hope and this guy is going to be all shady about it? Well, I was all anxious and Him and I went to the Pet store, Home Depot, and then to Red Lobster. Our dinner was soo good, I ate so much. I told Him how I found a blog on a guy with BPD, and I told Him how I was doing my own blog, and that I would not mind if he read it, but would feel better if He didnt. He agreed, and I reassured Him that nothing was secret.

After dinner, we went to an adult sex shop! At first, It was weird because I DID NOT want Him to look at the nasty naked girls. He reassured me He wouldnt, and then we got a lot of sex toys! We spent 100 dollars there last night! Lol..

We came home, and had a night full of passion. It was amazing! We played sex games on each other, and it was very very passionate.

Then, we cuddled in bed and watched the Sugar Bowl..and I totally fell asleep!

Everything has gone so well the last few days, I am just afraid it wont last..

Bad news though, I talked to some insurance guy, and he gave us some quotes on insurance. Mine would be a WHOPPING 168 a month, and His woudl be 210 per month, since he already had a pre-existing condition (bi-polar). So I do not know what we are going to do. He makes 70K a year, but that it still way too much money for insurance. I called teh "Free" mental health place, and He is going to do the same..

Wish us luck!

Will update more tonight! We are just watching football and going to the lightning hockey game tonight!