Monday, May 10, 2010

A few things..

Not in the mood to blog TOO much today, but I will say a few things..

I am on 10 days sober from love addiction.
I am learning about Buddhism.
I am learning to love myself.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Some things.

Okay, so ALOT has been going on in my life. Some bad, some good.. so here they are.

First: Me and my fiancee are doing very very well. Even though he found my cell phone with all these texts messages form other men, he did not freak out. He finally understands that I am addicted to love, and he felt my pain of the addiction. He was upset, but he never yelled at me or insulted me for my addiction.

Second: I am telling all of these men off, it makes me feel good about myself. I am a person, and I am NOT a piece of meat. I am a woman who deserved respect. I am going to start living my life this way.

Third: I have been very very productive and have been getting my TO DOs done each day, and it feels good to actually get things done.

Fourth: I havent been to an S.L.A.A. meeting in awhile, but I went to a Love Addiction meeting last night. It was amazing. I now am realizing I do not have a sex addiction. I have a love addiction, and it really hit home with me last night. I found out I am slightly codependent and narcissistic. The 2 paragraph explanation on the love addicts paper really hit home with me.

Five: Realizing love addiction comes from a dysfunction household growing up, I realized first, that A. I HATE my father. He abandoned me all of the time growing up and I am beginning to hate his guts even more. and B. I have some resentment towards my mother also. She really showed that she loved my sister more growing up. I was always blamed for everything growing up, and always punished, and always accused, and it still hurts to think about it. My step dad hates me too, he treats me like shit and has always done so. So yeah, to say the least, I am dealing with a lot of new things that I have never dealt with before.