Thursday, February 26, 2009

The busy days

Hello all, everyone who reads this, or who doesnt..

I have been pretty busy lately. It might be annoying when I am busy, but it definitely keeps my minds off of things..

Yesterday, I was at school until 930pm. Crazy huh? It was because our school paper was shipping out that night, and EVERYONE had to stay until all the pages were done. I was okay at first, but got extremely anxious towards the end..only because we were there late and I didn't want Him mad at me..but I felt okay not talking to him the whole time. This is my first issue of the paper as the sprots editor, and I was busy busy busy!! I was just getting upset because I wanted to watch the wings game and Idol, but I watched them when I got home. My baby wasnt mad at me really, he totally understood..

Things between Him and I have been alright. Not really really good, still having some "moments."

I want to elaborate on my last post..

I finally went to the Mental Health Center place, got an appoint for a few days ago. Right as I went to go, one of our dogs got out! I was definitely not going to leave before I found her..I kind of screamed at cried at Him and he had enough and said it was OVER. I finally found her running down the street, and I actually went to my appointment though. I wasn't going to worry about him, I was going to go to my appointment and help myself, so I did. And, I am very happy to say, OMG they offer DBT. DBT is a therapy specifically for Borderline Personality Disorder. Right when I knew I was BPD, i searched and searched for this therapy. The only place that offered it was in the next county, and I couldn't do that, bc I couldn't prove I lived in that county. When I found out that MHC offered it, I was ecstatic. My therapist is putting me on the waiting list. I made my psychiatric eval and there were no spots until April 24th, but that's okay. I gotta stay strong on my own until then.

For right now, my therapist said I have to find good coping skills. That means, when He is fighting, ignoring, or provoking me, I walk away and do a pleasurable activity. I have been working in a DBT workbook, and there are plenty of things I can do. But, to not overwhelm myself, I am going to only list a few things I will do.


1. Go for a run, and listen to I pod.
2. Write or collage in my art journal.
3. Work Out.

Thats them so far..<3

Also, I want to clear out all my TODOS. I have so many of them!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009



Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I am in love <3

Oh I am so in love with Him. We have been doing so great. I feel the way I did in the beginning with him. He is just IT for me. He is the best thing in my life. We made love this morning, and it was amazing. I felt so conencted, so intertwined with him. I hope this lasts. It is the best feeling ever..

Last night, we went to the Lightning game, they lsot of course, dont they always? But Him and I really had a blast. He got wasted, and I looked after him! Hehe. I am getting wasted on friday, while we watch the wings game. Its a party to get my tolerance to alcohol up! Haha. It'll be fun.

I am just at school right now. I just want to see my baby, and cuddle with him and lay with him. I will see him at 5 though, I have to cover the Womens basketball game for school, and he is going with me. Isnt he an awesome boyfriend? I am so glad we are back together. I really dont know what I would do without him. I would be lost. So completely lost <3

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the nice day

I got another min pin!! His name is Rommy, he is the cutest thing. I got him on craigslist..

I just feel a little bit bad, because after we got him, we gave our 4 ferrets and bird away. I mean, we did have too many animals, but mainly, it was what kind of animals they were. They pooped too much and were tearing up our brand new couch. I thought they were going to a good home..but..we totally forgot to get the money from the girl, and she drove off. I have seriously called the girl 100 times, and she picks up and hangs up the phone. So. I was jipped once again. Stupid me. I just hope the ferrets dont get resold for more money, and they have to keep switching homes.

On the me and Him front, we are doing pretty good. The last few days have been so so because I have been uppacking all my shit that his parents packed up for me. So, I have kind of been thinking about the parents situation over and over again, and kind of took it out on him a few times. But, other than that, we are doing good. Today has been a pretty good day. Its 75 degrees out, jeff and I took lunch together, and the house is almost all clean. We have a hockey game to go to tonight, Blackhawks are in town!!! It should be an exciting game, hopefully the lightning can win one for us!

Tomorrow I have to cover a HCC womens bball game. Shall be boring. Lol. I just havent gotten into the mode of school again. Ever since christmas break, I have been in a little bit of a daze and havent gotten in the swing of things. Hopefully I do soon..

Monday, February 16, 2009

The no comments on page thingy one EVER comments on my mother fucking site. I thought this would help people?? Thought people would be interested. Guess I am not that interesting of a person. Just a fucked up piece of shit

Monday, February 9, 2009

The Shit

I am back in tampa. His parents took all my shit to ocala in a Uhaul, and I was stuck in ocala for a few days, which was highly illegal.. I went to Jacksonville to hang out with my sister because I was driving myself crazy. I begged him to let me come back to the house.

Long story short, I am back in Tampa, but we still arent together. We have made love, and acted like we are together, but we arent yet. I will do anything to be back with him. I know I am messed up and I know I havent been the model girlfriend, or even a good one. I love him so much and I really really hope he will be with me. I wont be controlling, I wont hit him. I wont be jealous. Of course, I cant do all this on my own. I need some medical help, but I think I can help

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The anniversary

Two years to the day, he asked me out. We were going to a hockey game, and he said, "Why arent we going out? Are you afraid of moving too fast?" Well, that's when I said I will be with you! I dont regret it at all. We may have some really bad days sometimes, but I absolutely adore him, the same way I adored him 2 years ago when he asked me out!

He said he has something planned for me tonight. I wonder what it is:

Baby, I am so glad I am with you! Here's to making it 3 years.