Two weeks and one day!

That's right, I am 15 days sober as of today. I am feeling great about myself. I really think I can conquer this addiction, not by myself of course, but with the help of a higher power and others in S.L.A.A, I can do it. I still have yet to find a sponsor..I just fear that someone will say they aren't ready to be a sponsor, and I will probably take it personal, like I always do.. But I have to try and not do that! It isnt all about me!

I have stopped going to the co-ed Sunday meetings, I just like the all women friday meetings much much better. I can relate to them more, and some people in the Sunday meeting freaked me out..


Now, for the BPD..I am doing "better" but I did have a FREAK out yesterday. My fiancee said he didnt like the way I was talking to him, so he decided to demand that I say something exactly the way he wanted me to say it. So, I in turn flipped out, and broke a curtain rod along with other things. I do have to try harder with my anger, but at the same time, I cannot just sit there and continuously be pushed, or this is what happens. Next time, i think I will just walk away instead of keeping the fight going. However, it is not worth the pain and strife of breaking things! I would much rather just walk away and come back at a later time. This is just so difficult for me to do! I need to try better, try harder, think of the pros and cons! I can really do this!